Do You Do Thank You Cards?

According to the etiquette experts, Debrett’s, we should all be putting pen to paper to thank friends and family for our kids’ Christmas presents right about now. (In fact…right about now would be too late, as their general rule is that thank you letters should be sent within a week to ten days of an event or receipt of a present). They say a handwritten letter is preferable and that a thank you text is rude.

Mum-life is a busy one and the to-do list is never ending. However, do you make time to send thank you cards from your children? Would you call to say thank you? Or does a text or email suffice?

The loves of Lisa’s life are Rich and their kids, Lyra and Jenson. Although she does wish they would let her have a shower in peace every once in a while.

30 Comments. Leave new

It’s my sons first Christmas and yes, ‘we’ have written about 24 thank you cards. I’ve always done it myself since childhood and just think it’s a lovely think to receive. I knew he would be sent lots of gifts for his first Christmas and wrote a list(baby brain?!) of who sent what and then wrote the cards whilst he was asleep at night. They were sent within a few days. I know life is short etc but if people go to the effort to think of and choose and send a present then the least we can do is write to thank them. It’s jist polite.

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I totally agree with you! I also wrote a list to remind myself what they both got. Have done it as a child too and think people like to be thanked. To go to the effort of picking a gift for a child rather than a voucher etc is thoughtful and deserves recognition.

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We did thank you cards for our sons first Christmas and birthday (and when he was born) as we knew more people would give to him on the first year.

I haven’t done cards this year and haven’t even sent messages out yet as we were struck down with the lurgy! He definitely received gifts from fewer people and really only those closest to us.

I have also always given to friends and families little ones and have maybe received one or two thank you cards over the years so I guess it just isn’t done anymore.

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100% yes. We always write thank you letters. As a child I remember my brother and I writing our thank you’s at the table and Mum posting them off. My son is 3 so I write them on his behalf at the moment but he’ll be writing them when he is old enough. I love to reveive them too. I think it’s very rude not too. We are posting ours off today though so have not met with the Debrett’s etiquette guide with the timing 🙊

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It’s my sons birthday this week so I wait and send out a joint Christmas and birthday thank you. I just thought it’s a nice thing to do, no I haven’t got oodles of free time, but it only takes half an hour. I always thing it’s lovely to receive a Thank you and so that’s why I send them. I will get him to write them when he is old enough

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When Fern was born I sent around 70 hand-written thank yous 😱…. These days, I make sure I make a note of everything received and from whom and send a text or WhatsApp to the sender, mentioning specifically the thing they’ve bought. Where possible I try to include a photo of my daughter playing with/wearing the item. A thank you card would be better I agree but when her birthday is so close to Christmas its super hard to find the time.

I do always appreciate a thank you card/message myself. I think as long as there’s an acknowledgement that’s the main thing.

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I 100% always send a written thank you for any present I or my little ones receive. It doesn’t take long to write a thank you and I know how appreciated it is. I find it mega rude when people don’t do thank yous (a text is better than nothing) I’ve always done them since I can remember. I also always do written thank yous for dinner parties we’ve been to or anything like that.

Also you can get SUCH amazing cards now that’s is lovely buying them too.

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Yes but just getting to it now as I wanted to include photos from Xmas on the card! As O was only 10 weeks old for her first Xmas they totally got forgotten about plus husband opened and didn’t keep track of who bought what!

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I don’t have kids but most of my friends do & I have to say I don’t expect a written card, I’d much rather the parents spent that time having fun with the child. That said, it does bug me when you never ever get so much as a text or even a thank you in passing from the parent for a gift. Particularly when you’ve bought for multiple children in that family… Maybe that more my issue than theirs though?

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This has made me consider whether or not to bother buying gifts for those individuals but I don’t think the children should miss out because their parents are rude!

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I’ve got to admit that when Lyra was born I didn’t get around to sending thank you cards for her presents until she was around eight months old. 🙉 Debretts would be horrified!

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We always do them too. It was drummed into me as a child and I feel it’s important- it doesn’t take long and a personal note really makes a difference. We use handwriting so little these days sometimes it’s nice to just look at the pen moving over the card. If you are really pressed for time there is always TouchNote which incorporates photos and takes zero time, no more than a text. I only do them for people who don’t see them open the gift though. Not sure ok the logic here but maybe something to do with a personal thank you st the time?

Mine are ready for posting today.

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How timely as my kitchen table is covered in unwritten cards! My rule is I send a handwritten card if the giver wasn’t there in person to see the present opened and get face to face thanks. I too rarely get written thank yous from friends for the gifts I give their children, so I feel like it just isn’t done any more, but it was what I was taught growing up and it’s so nice to receive mail that’s not boring!

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I send them as I want my children to get used to thanking as they get so much, I don’t want them to take it for granted.

I 100% don’t expect them though, a text would be fine. Our niece and nephew (teenagers) never say thank you for gifts, by text or otherwise which does get my goat. I end up eventually contacting their parents to check gifts we posted have arrived as there’s no acknowledgment at all. I do find that quite rude!

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We also had thank you note etiquette drummed into us as kids, and I do try to make the effort to do them – though not always within 10 days I’ll admit. I especially make sure to do them for older relatives, and have also sent them to my immediate family members who weren’t with us this Christmas this year, even though I sent them messages with photos and videos on the day.

We don’t so much send them to friends though – as we try to send a quick text or email, and thank them in person when we next see them. Because this is how it’s been for a few years, and because they do the same with us it seems to work.

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Yes yes yes. I am an obsessive card writer and thank for everything – it doesn’t take long and I’m always anxious to show appreciation when someone has gone out of their way to buy a gift or do something thoughtful for me or my family. My absolute pet hate is wedding thank you cards sent months and months after the occasion!

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YES!!! Still waiting for some wedding thank you cards about a year after the event which I find extremely rude…! Glad I’m not alone 🙂

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Absolutely yes, I sent hand written cards to thank for gifts received after he was born, from his 1st birthday and have written cards for Christmas too (just haven’t actually posted them yet!) I think there is something much more generous and thoughtful about taking the time to write and I will be encouraging my boy to do his own as soon as he is old enough. Call me old fashioned, but I just think it’s polite!

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100% sender of thank you cards here, although I am running a little behind with Christmas ones as Alice goes through the 8 month sleep regression 🙈🙈 I always think that if someone has made the effort to go out and choose something for my daughter, they deserve the effort of a nice, handwritten note recognising that. I’m also a bit of a post/handwritten letter junkie and receiving post is one of my favourite things in the world (it’s a little sad I know…), so I find great joy in being able to surprise people with a bit of unexpected, pretty post rather than just bills! X

P.s. Is anyone else a romantic and miss the art of the handwritten letter? Texts and emails are great for convienience but there is just something so special about a written letter that warms the cockles of my heart.

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Oh I miss letters so much! Like really miss them.
I think it’s so lovely to receive a surprise note through the post x

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Me too! It’s one of those small gestures that can really brighten your day by having a piece of post appear through your door. It truly has become a lost art form! If you’re game, could always start a Rock My Family pen pal chain/exchange? Something to brighten everyone’s day a little! X

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I am another one who was always made to write thank you cards as a child. My son was only born in November but I sent out thank you cards for the things we received for his birth and will be sending Christmas ones too (when I get round to it).
I very rarely even get an acknowledgement of presents we send let alone a card which I find rude. I would be perfectly happy with a text. As we live abroad we are not sure if people receive them in time and then have to make a point of asking which I do feel weird about

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Of all the years giving gifts I’ve never had a thank you card myself so we don’t bother! I emphasise the importance of saying thank you on receipt of the gift instead

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Absolutely! I still write thank you cards for my own presents and expect my children to do the same (I say expect, I currently have a 2 year old so I write them and get her to “sign” them but she will be expected to write them when she is able to do so). That said, I have yet to write them but it is on my list for this evening, thankfully not too many to do this year… I think it is important when people have gone to the trouble of buying something, particularly those you don’t see very often. I would never send a text message or Whatsapp message – perhaps a photo to show said present being used but never as a replacement. Always nice to receive a bit of snail mail I think!

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This reminded me to do mine! I feel bad I still haven’t sent out thanks you from when R was first born but it was a total blur and the first 8 weeks were bloody stressful so I never got round to it…. and didn’t write down what we were given. 🤦‍♀️
Do other people send thank yous for presents when they are first born??

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Be kind to yourself Jenny! Everyone knows how tough it is with a new baby (or they SHOULD), and will be pleased and touched whenever they come.

I enjoyed doing it on one of those websites where you make a baby announcement card with picture and then you scrawl on the back. I used paper shaker. It’s a good excuse to take lovely pictures of your baby!

Enjoy your little one and don’t stress.

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I was also made to write thank you cards when I was younger- I remember getting to early teenage years and thinking that it was a chore, but I am so glad that my mum instilled that into me. I rarely receive any thank you cards for anything I have bought, but on the odd time that I do, it is so nice to receive. My children are only 1 and 3 at the moment, but I always write cards on their behalf and hope that my little anecdotes of what they children have been up to with their gifts make the recipients smile.
I am looking forward to when they can wrote their own though! x

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For some reason my phone kept changing ‘write to ‘wrote’ grrrr!

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I like to send a card or note to say thank you and when my little boy is older, I intend on giving him a choice on how he wants to thank people:
A phone call, a letter, a drawing, a video, a poem. I don’t care how he does it but I think it’s really important to say thank you.

I remember always having to phone my grandparents and say thank you. We used to all be passed around the phone (four of us!) all saying a few sentences. Boring at the time but I think important.

My friend sent me a what’s app video of her little boy playing with his new toy. Brilliant idea without having to send cards.

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Yes! Still have mine to do but they will get done. I always had to do them as a child and Zachary will be the same. I buy thank you card packs from paperchase so I always have them in the house. I do like getting a card or letter in the post. I really think it’s a dying art….don’t get me started on the lack of Christmas cards getting sent in lieu of a charity donation

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