Stop Telling Me How BIG I Am
Maybe I didn’t notice in my first pregnancy, due to the million and one things I was thinking/juggling having had no experience of motherhood and launching our second Rock My platform literally weeks before I was due to take maternity leave. Or maybe I just didn’t receive as many comments about my appearance when I was growing Mabel.
I’ve found it almost comical, how folks (and I must emphasise mostly women) seem to think it’s acceptable to pass comment on my body. And I don’t mean in a complimentary way, although of course there are those that do. I mean very much with a focus on the “size” of my growing bump. Well I say bump, but it’s not always entirely clear what about my current frame warrants such a focus on perceived expansion.
“Gosh! You are getting so big!”
What is “getting so BIG”..? my arse?
“You must be carrying much bigger than your first this time!”
Erm, not particularly no?
“You are really waddling now with all that extra weight!”
That’ll be due to the crippling backache. And the SPD. Oh and the fact I’m growing a human.
For reference, I have a fairly petite build. Just shy of 5″ 4′ and a UK size 6-8. I have eaten a balanced diet throughout the last 32 weeks (lots of fruit and veg, also chips and biscuits) and I exercise regularly. I would like to think that I am taking a healthy approach towards both my baby’s wellbeing and my own.
It would never occur to me to pass comment on someone’s size, expecting a baby or otherwise. Yes I tell my friends they look lovely, or compliment them on their latest Zara purchase, but I would never in a million years exclaim, especially in the company of several other people, about their apparent increase in dimensions.
I promise I am not being over sensitive, I have experienced a particularly difficult 7 or so months what with one pregnancy associated ailment and another, I just don’t understand the requirement to make me consider the width of my torso (or could it be my swollen calves? Or my thighs?) as if I look somehow odd or unusual compared to what is …expected.
And their lies my point I guess. Everyone is different. Everyone’s body is different. No two pregnancies are exactly the same. Turns out after having a 4D scan just after Christmas that my baby girl already has perfect rolls of chub on her legs and is in the 90th percentile in terms of weight. She is not outside of the norm. I do not have gestational diabetes. She just likes chocolate orange and cheese. As do I.
The sonographer did check the results multiple times, whilst looking back and forth from me to the screen she finally concluded “You are carrying a big baby….for someone who is quite small”
Yes, I guess so. I hope I am carrying the right sized baby for me.
You can see my bump and I on my instagram story highlights.
Header image taken from our DIY garland collaboration with Joules (I was about 25 weeks at the time).