Hi there everyone, I’ve been loving reading all of your advice and thoughts recently, what a wonderful community we are building here. Today I’m going to introduce you to Katie – a long-standing member of aforementioned Rock My community, she was a real bride way back in 2011 on sister site Rock My Wedding.

Katie is sharing her rollercoaster pregnancy journey with us all today so please do give her a warm welcome in the comments section.

Let me start with a disclaimer ~ I now have a beautiful, healthy, thriving nine month old who is meeting his milestones, so I don’t mean to alarm anyone… this story does come with a positive ending!

Nothing can prepare you for being pregnant. Sure, friends had been pregnant before me, and for the most part they made it seem easy. But no one ever seems to talk about the slightly tricky bits, or the bloody tough and painstakingly worrying bits. Someone even told me labour was, in their words, “lovely”. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! COME ON!!!

My pregnancy was pretty straightforward until the 20 week point. Yes, there had been the overwhelming tiredness, the morning {noon and night!} sickness and the desire to only eat beige food, but other than that, nothing out of the ordinary.

My husband and I went off to our 20 week scan feeling nervous, but rather excited to see our baby again. I held my breath during the scan, hoping that everything was fine. I held it again when the sonographer uttered the words, “I’m sorry there seems to be a problem with the brain”. And with those eleven words, she left the room.

Time came to a standstill. A 45 minute standstill to be exact. It felt like 45 hours. I hated the sonographer for leaving us for that long. How could she?! We were both blindsided. Messages came in from family and friends asking how everything was, did we find out the sex…

We couldn’t reply. So we didn’t. What would we say? For once, neither of us had any words.

After several hours of being passed from Dr to Dr, someone finally decided on a diagnosis… after a little internet research, yes seriously! They called it borderline ventriculogmegaly, which essentially meant that one of the brain ventricles was measuring a little bit larger than it should have. I’ve simplified it, but they made it sound terrifying. Google made it sound more terrifying. Hell, what I don’t know about this condition now, I could write on a postcard!

Thankfully we were referred to another hospital where I was placed under the care of one of the best consultants in the country. Someone who knew what the condition was without the need to refer to Wikipedia!
I was booked in for a MRI scan of our baby’s brain, monthly scans until my due date, and my consultant {my hero} tried to calm my tears with reassuring words.

He said it would likely resolve itself in utero, he said it was a often seen with bigger babies, he said feto-maternal medicine was not an exact science {!} and not to worry.

Of course I did, and to call it worrying would be a massive understatement. I was a wreck. It affected my pregnancy and my emotional wellbeing.
I found the MRI scan terrifying ~ but it was incredible to see the detail from the images, and took so much comfort that the rest of our baby’s brain was developing just fine. With each scan the worry faded away, only to build back up a week or so later until our next ultrasound.

To add fuel to the fire, my amniotic fluid levels went sky high in the last six weeks of pregnancy which became another cause for concern ~ but again my consultant offered more reassuring words as much as he could.

I genuinely did not know how healthy our baby was going to be. Despite everyone’s reassurances, Google told me not to be hopeful.
But on my birthday, when my waters broke in quite dramatic fashion {yep, that would be the excess fluid!} and after a 23 hour labour, our healthy, beautiful, perfect baby boy was born. My incredible consultant had been right on all accounts.

I know I am one of the oh-so very lucky ones, I really do. Emotionally it was tough journey for me, and from time to time I struggle with it all now, but every single time I look at my little boy I feel beyond grateful.

Usually you only hear the two ends of the scale ~ the straightforward and fantastic, and the deeply upsetting and saddening. Our experience, really, was neither ~ so perhaps that’s why it completely knocked for six as it was so unexpected.

If I could offer some advice to anyone who’s pregnant, it would be to seek the best care possible. If you’re not happy with your hospital/midwife/consultant, ask to change. It’s your right to do so. I switched hospitals after my initial referral, which did mean that I delivered our baby at a hospital almost an hour away… but it was the best decision I could have made, and dare I say it, restored my faith in the NHS and reminded me why we are so lucky to have it.

Another thing: talk. Not necessarily to everyone, but to those you trust. My husband was my absolute rock and he really came into his own during this time {who knew he had it in him ?}, my mum was incredible and an amazing friend who had just had a baby at the time, and who certainly didn’t need any more added stress, was a god send.

My last piece of advice, and probably the hardest piece to take is to step away from the internet and from all kinds of forums. My continual googling did me absolutely no favours ~ it quite frankly made my emotional state worse… although combined with my love of Grey’s Anatomy, it did result in a consultant asking me if I had a medical background!

Image by Little Beanies