Today is a bit of a mixed bag of emotions for me. My biggest little starts school. How has that teeny tiny baby of mine grown up to be a school age child? It honestly does seem to have flown by and there is nothing I can do now. I can’t turn back time and I have to accept that we are moving on to the next stage of our lives. But my gosh it will be strange.
Although I am sad that my little girl is going to be gone each day I don’t think I’ll be the mum crying at the school gates. I’m not worried about Molly starting school at all. You may have read about me choosing a school and I’m pleased to say she got her place. We’ve been very lucky that for the last two years Molly has attended Pre-School at the school she will be attending so we’ve already been through the trauma of a painfully shy little girl not wanting to go. Believe me it was heartbreaking but fast forward two years and she loves it there. She has a lovely group of friends and knows all her teachers. The pre-school integrates with the main school so she already eats lunch with the ‘big’ kids and goes to assembly. So you see it won’t really be that much different for her. However, she most definitely isn’t keen on going every day. The difference will be in the stamina she has for being there every day rather than the two and a half she was doing in pre-school.
And I know I’ll miss her. Lots. Yes, she infuriates me at times but this little lady also makes me smile so much. She’s independent and stubborn but loves cuddles more than anything. It will seem very quiet without her around.
It’s so strange to think that this is it for the foreseeable future. My baby girl is growing up and just for one for minute I want to pause and soak up every second of her being a little girl.
I know I’ll be rushing up the road at 3 o’clock to fetch her, eager to find out about her day but knowing Molly she is more likely to run straight past me and off to play with her friends in the playground.
I worry how Alice will cope without her big sister around as they get on so well (most of the time) but luckily Alice is now in the same pre-school.I am going to make the most of my time left with Alice as believe it or not she starts school next September due to the way their birthdays fall. I guess I will be a seasoned pro by then.
The inevitable mum guilt has struck me hard in recent weeks. I kept telling myself over the last year that I’d make a real effort to do things with Molly on her non pre-school days. I always planned to get our glitter and feathers out and get creative but somehow those days just slipped by. Yes, we’ve done lots but no where near as much as I wanted. I don’t think Molly minds but I do. It makes me feel like I’ve missed that chance. All summer holidays I’ve thought that I’ll do some just mummy and Molly days but those didn’t happen either. I’m not really sure why other than the fact that work and life seemed to get in the way. That’s not to say we haven’t done things. There have been lots of play dates, paddling pool days and ice cream eating and maybe that is enough.
It’s so strange thinking that this phase of my life is over. I guess I find it harder as Alice will also be at school next year. In some ways that’s great. I’m looking forward to having a bit of my time back but it will be stranger than I can imagine. And before anyone says it, it’s definitely not time for a third!!!
So that’s it. My little girl is all grown up and I’m just about to wave her off in her pinafore and new shiny shoes. It is with equal measures of happiness, sadness and a whole heap of proudness that I’ll kiss her goodbye at the school gate. And I know it won’t be long till the holidays when I’ll be wondering how on earth to entertain her.