I have a confession to make.

I am completely, utterly and abysmally sh*t at keeping a baby journal.

Don’t get me wrong. I started out with the best intentions, truly I did. I purchased a rather cutesy baby record book with spaces for scan photos and little envelopes for the first locks of hair and perfectly dotted lines so I could jot down funny things Hector did or how I felt as a new mum.

It started well; I mean I was able to fill in the relevant information about Ste and I, due and birth dates and all the vital birth statistics. I even photocopied every single page of my green pregnancy notes after my waters broke whilst I was having contractions because I knew once I’d given birth I’d have no record of what it was like to be pregnant with him other than memories of horrific heartburn and being jabbed in the ribs.

And then it just trailed off from there. I’m not sure why this is…Perhaps it was lack of time, laziness even, the desire to catch 40 winks whilst he napped rather than scrawling in a book or maybe it’s because Hector seemed to hit key milestones on already memorable dates, crawling for the first time on Ste’s birthday and walking properly the day before he turned 14 months. That way I already had them logged in my brain and didn’t feel the need to write them down per se.

I realise though that this isn’t exactly helpful for my boy, that there may come a time when he wants to know something that I haven’t stored away mentally. Time of course can be the great deceiver and memories you thought you would never forget dissipate like smoke in the wind. I know I certainly felt that way during Hector’s first year on the planet; I regularly asked my mum questions about when I first slept through, when my first tooth appeared, when I spoke my first word and the answer was the same…’Lolly, I can’t quite remember.’

Understandable but frustrating nonetheless. I’m not sure about why I felt I needed to know…as if this would bring me some kind of insight into when Hector might first begin to ‘do’ things. Patience has never been my strong point. But I digress; this post is all about baby journals and my incompetence at keeping one.

That’s not to say I haven’t tried to keep a journal. After my failure at populating the more traditional number mentioned at the beginning of the post I opted for a classic notebook which I intended to fill in as the mood took me. I promised myself I would write those funny phrases Hector said that day or things he might have done. I wanted it to be a very long letter from me to him so he could glean an insight to what he was like as a child when he was much older. It sits on my beside table ready and waiting for me to write in before bed complete with a rather lovely pen. Have I filled it in once? Have I heck!

Mentally I’ve composed numerous paragraphs to him and about him, but when it comes to putting pen to paper I’m failing miserably and I’m not sure why this is. Nearly all my friends with kids the same age have written copious amounts about their children either in designated books or simply using a notebook they’ve found at home. I’m envious, awestruck even, but I know I have only myself to blame.

I’ve promised myself this year as a kind of mini resolution for 2017 to write once a week in his book. He’s two now and I’ve possibly missed the boat on capturing my earlier memories of him in written form but I feel at least that I need to try – the toddler years have always been my favourite anyway. That way there’ll be some written dialogue for Hector to catch up on in years to come to accompany the thousands of photographs we have of him; I’m thankful I haven’t slacked on the images side of things. Plus there’ll come a day I’m sure when I take a moment to read up on all I’ve written and find myself reliving things I’d completely forgotten; you never think you will but somehow you just do. So much of his first year already is just a smudgy blur.

I promise keep you all updated on how I get on but I wouldn’t mind a gentle nudge from you from time to time to remind me to get my ass into gear and pen onto paper. I’m counting on you…

Do any of you write daily/weekly/monthly in a baby journal? Perhaps you use a different method of capturing all that they say and do? Can you tell me all about it? Are any of you as undisciplined as I am on the baby book agenda? Why do you think that is? I’d love to hear what you have to say in the comments section below…