We all know that we look at Instagram and think how perfect everyone else’s lives are. How immaculate their houses are, how perfect their children are, how they seamlessly juggle work and motherhood all whilst packing in family trips and activities. I’m very aware that my own life may look like this. The team have even nicknamed me ‘Martha’ for my domesticated and crafting abilities. However, let me tell you. My life is not always really those picture perfect squares.
As I type I am surrounded by dolls, crayons, and numerous jigsaw puzzles that will never end up back in the right box. I am covered in farmyard stickers and am pretty sure I have some porridge in my scraped back hair. The girls meanwhile are watching their third Disney film of the day whilst Alice sits in her vest and nothing else and Molly is dressed in some random get up of Pippy Longstocking striped tights, a sparkly top and tutu with every piece of jewellery she owns adorning her body. It’s an excellent look.
Getting through the day isn’t easy and I tear my hair out on multiple occasions trying to figure it all out. This motherhood malarkey is never going to be a breeze and you need a degree in juggling coupled with the negotiation skills of a politician just to survive.
My normal day goes something like this.
Blearily open my eyes at an ungodly hour as I hear some small child starting to creep towards our room. I swear I have spider senses when it comes to hearing them. Have my covers pulled off me to sounds of ‘Can we go downstairs now?’. ‘Now’. ‘Now’. ‘Now’. So off we traipse and immediately I’m getting bowls of cheerios, rounds of toast and fruit smoothies as they start the morning squabble of who gets to watch what on the telly. I use the time the kettle boils as an excuse to stand in peace in the kitchen and surreptitiously scroll through aforementioned Instagram. I’ll then join them for 5 minutes of some god awful kids cartoon before rushing back to the kitchen to start the packed lunches.
Somehow, despite being up since some time close to six am it is suddenly ten past eight and all hell breaks loose. My inner panic kicks in and I realise I now have 15 minutes to get myself dressed, girls dressed, books read, reading logs signed, teeth cleaned and all of us out the door. Somehow we manage it. You’d think I would learn, but no. It’s the same every blimmin morning. When I’m off to a meeting or photoshoot it’s ten times worse. I actually have to look presentable so need more than my usual two minute get ready time which results in mild hysteria from me and far too many ‘hurry ups’. I used to be able to breeze out the house and head off to London for meetings with global company directors without a bat of the eyelid. Now I find myself looking bedraggled after tearing up the road in the pouring rain (I obviously forgot my umbrella again!) and having accidentally catapulted Alice out the buggy as I tried to go over a pavement bump too quickly. She was fine as soon as I handed her another breakfast biscuit.
On the days they are both at school I’ll head home and do a quick ten minute clean up of the morning chaos, chuck some washing on, before settling down to work. It’s then non stop, packing in as much as I possibly can before school pick up. I’m not sure who said it gets easier with childcare when they start school. It does a bit but I can assure you three o’clock comes round very quickly. I’ve normally just had my lunch! Some days I’m dashing off to meetings and am frantically thinking through all the plans of pick up, dinnertime etc until I am home. Panicking that I actually asked someone to collect the girls.
The day definitely doesn’t end when school does. There is then swimming or ballet and that’s doubled when you have two. Why are their swimming lessons never on the same night?! Bad planning on my behalf. I feel like I spend my whole day rushing. Yes, I work from home which I am forever grateful for but there just aren’t enough hours. Either that or I am extremely disorganised.
I also feel I’m always saying ‘in a minute’ or ‘give me a second’. I feel awful for doing it.
Then comes the dreaded witching hours. Those last few hours of the day when you have the tasks of dinnertime and bathtime but the kids don’t want to play ball. I try and be organised with dinner but more often than not I haven’t had time with work and everything else so the girls have pasta. I have beans on toast. Cordon Bleu at it’s finest.
At some point around six Alice will normally have a meltdown. Full on crying, world is ending meltdown. Over anything from getting the wrong flavour petit filous to the fact that Molly sat in her spot on the sofa. More often than not there is a meltdown on the way to the bath because Molly got there before her. The girl has a hard life. I’m lucky the girls love their bath. To the point I struggle to get them out. Bedtime is also easier now they are older but I have learnt a very firm voice for when I need them to get moving up those stairs.
And then I can sit down and relax. Yeah right. I then have to tidy up the utter s**t tip of my house as who knew how much mess two mini people can really make? I have to finish all my emails that didn’t get done during the day. Then there is ironing to do, online shopping to browse and an overwhelming feeling that I didn’t accomplish as much as I should have that day. Didn’t manage to do any exercise. Didn’t spend enough time with the girls.
I’m not saying all this to try and say how rubbish my day is or to exaggerate the manicness. This is just my day. It’s probably all of our days and I want you to know you aren’t alone. I wouldn’t have it any other way though. I’m incredibly lucky in so many ways. I get to work from home and I do everything I can to have amazing days with the girls. They are the absolute best and on their best behaviour 90% of the time. I might look like Martha Stewart with my Boden obsession, cake baking skills and craft sessions but most days these are also coupled with an immense amount of mess, muddle and rushing. I wouldn’t have it any other way though as it’s part and parcel of being a mum, and I love being a mum.
And some days I win at life. We are out the door on time, I have my hair brushed and I have a day full of fun planned for Alice whilst Molly is at school. We play playdoh, we make cakes when Molly gets home and I’ve made a yummy cottage pie for dinner. There are no meltdowns and I get to take cute Instagram worthy pictures. What you won’t see if the pile of destruction behind me. But who cares really?!
Love this Lottie! It’s so true parenthood is such a whirlwhind and most of the time it feels like you’re clinging on by your fingertips to an expess train that is just gathering momentum all the time. It’s just relentless isn’t it?!
The mental image of slingshotting your child out of the buggy is hilarious yet SO relatable. I slipped over last week while pushing the buggy and brought it down with me. Fern was dangling upside down in her Instagram-worthy stokke stroller like a parachutist stuck in a tree while the dog was nearly strangulated having had her lead entangled in the wheel. Luckily I had no witnesses so I could just style it out and pretend it never happened. Until now! ?
I think this is why I’m addicted to Instagram stories as it reveals the true reality behind the best selves people present!
What is it with small kids being catapulted out of buggies?! I reckon it’s part and parcel of growing up. I vividly remember standing in our garden when my little sister was a teeny baby lying in her huge old school silver cross pram. It had a good bouncy motion so I thought I’d give her a gentle rock only to fling her out on to the grass. Oops! xx
LOVE this Phillipa, i did the same a few months back when my over excited pug ran at another pooch across the front of the buggy tangling us all up and we all ended up on the ground, buggy included with the baby dangling out. The poor chap with the cockapoo was suitably horrified. So embarassing! Lottie, i wish you had put a photo of Molly adorned in her bling! But such a true post, insta as fabulous can be oh so misleading at times. Though I still think you give Martha a run for her money!x
Those pesky dogs Rachel! I honestly meant to take photos for this post and completely forgot. Molly has serious style and it makes me laugh now as she likes to choose her own weird and wonderful outfit combos! I do try to channel my inner Martha most days. I am feeling positive today is going to be a good day xx
I don’t know why but reading this made me slightly emotional! I guess because it’s so relatable. Most days feel like absolute chaos and I get to the end of most days chastising myself for the things I haven’t done rather than reflecting on all the things I have done – they may not be as tangible as an empty laundry basket, clean house, organised meal planning but I do have a happy and healthy child so I need to think about that more!
You definitely need to focus on the happy and not the mess! I am trying and as you say my girls are happy little things so if I’ve told them to hurry up too many times or if they have decided to get yet another box of toys out I probably shouldn’t really care xx
It’s funny Lottie because I deleted my instagram account a couple of weeks ago because though I loved looking at the pictures it just started to affect me because as you are highlighting above you only see the ‘perfect’ lives of everyone else. I am quite a practical person so didn’t think it would but I think instagram is such a ‘snap shot’ there isn’t room for the reality either where as on a blog like this you get the ‘real’ and the ‘pretty’ so your article above is very refreshing.
I have actually been tempted to stop using Instagram recently for the same reasons but sometimes I do like looking at the pretty too. So pleased you love the blog and that we are getting a good balance for you xxx
I’ve only got one so whilst some. Or I ha there is a battle to stop playing with cars/put shoes on/get in the car on a whole our mornings are not too bad, however this is probably at the detriment to other things in my life, such as washing/cleaning (I gave up ironing about 10 years ago). The glorious sunshine has highlighted several areas of my home this weekend as being filthy and embarrasssingly so! I knew it wasn’t spotless but had no idea it was so bad. So bad that I’ve actually booked a day off this week to clean it properly 😳
That’s funny, my husband just said today we need to book in a day off when the kids are at nursery to sort our lives out and spring clean the house. I said we need a week!!!!
Could do with two weeks to be honest Nikki! But will have to cram in as much as possible over 6 hours! Washing is empty this morning since hubby went on a mission at the weekend so that’s one less thing to sort out! We are having our kitchen tiled tomorrow so telling myself that I haven’t cleaned because I know it will just get messy again 😝
Oh my gosh, how much I need a full day to properly blitz the cleaning. I did a quick hour last night but like you the sunshine is showing up all manner of dust. And the windows, eek! xxx
I have to confess I was chuckling reading this – not in a nasty way, just in a “I can soooo relate to this” way! My 3 are a handful from dawn until dusk, some days I cope brilliantly (or so I like to think!) and other days are a total write off and i’m clock watching for a G&T from about 4pm. I think we have to congratulate ourselves on the better days and write off the more chaotic days. I too enjoy hiding whilst the kettle boils whilst scrolling through instagram , funnily enough I like seeing picture perfect squares of other people’s lives – I find it weirdly calming seeing someone else’s spotless house. I think it gives me inspiration to sort my shit out – if other people can do it, so can I!
Surely 4pm is an acceptable time for a G&T anyway Nicola? It’s almost bedtime so I think it’s fine. You are so right that it does provide a bit of inspiration, plus I like seeing something other than chaos once in a while xx
Haha, I love this!!! So relate-able, even though I only have the one!! I shamefully admit that sometimes I sit on the sofa with one eye on the child while she causes utter destruction as I just don’t have the energy to stop her yet again and encourage her to do something else more productive. Which I then regret of course when she is in bed and I have to tidy up said mess… And the amount of times I have wanted to hide when I bump into someone unexpectedly on the street having failed to wash my hair for a shameful number of days, definitely with some porridge or Weetabix or something in it, and realising my lovely child has used my jumper to wipe her nose on. It’s nice to know we are all more-or-less the same!