Notice that I’ve placed a question mark at the end of today’s post title….Yep before you get to thinking that this article is going to end all your own toddler toothbrushing battle woes I’ll hold my hands up and honestly say that I’m at my wits end when it comes to brushing or rather battling with Hector to brush his teeth.
I considered sharing an photo of me attempting to clean his eight gnashers in the slider at the top here but the reality is that it doesn’t make for a particularly pretty image. Instead I thought sharing some images of the tools of the trade might be a bit more inspiring.
Instead this post is about me asking for your help, your pearls of wisdom in helping us both overcome Hector’s aversion to excellent oral hygiene. Have you had similar troubles with your own little ones? Did they grow out of it? Are you still battling at the bathroom sink every night?
Where to begin?
Our initial introduction to teeth brushing began gently, by giving him his own paste-free toothbrushes and heads from our own Sonicare system. He chewed on them with abandon and it probably helped with his teething discomfort too. So far so good.
We moved then to the amazing Banana flavour Brush Baby Dental Wipes which essentially is a sleeve you pop on your finger and then swipe over teeth and gums to clean and soothe at the same time. The wipes are fluoride free and are suitable from birth to 16 months so completely baby friendly. Hector loved these, possibly because Banana is one of his favourite fruits but mostly because it meant he got to bite daddy’s finger as he cleaned. Notice I didn’t necessarily volunteer myself for this activity…
As he got older and his number of pearly whites increased we felt it was time to move on from the wipes or rather Ste said enough was enough. He’d had his fill of his fingers being chomped on and so we moved towards actively brushing his gnashers. We invested in a brand new baby toothbrush and fluoride free toothpaste and this is when the trouble started.
Clearly Hector was not impressed by the transition from wipes to full scale brush and wasn’t shy about telling us about it. For a generally laid back kid who doesn’t cry all that much (apart from his first birthday party but that’s another story!) I am amazed at the wails and shouts and screams that pours from his mouth. Talk about drama! Full scale thrashing and even on some nights, breath-holding which terrifies the life out of me. To even be able to get near his mouth I’ve been reduced to holding his head firmly but gently whilst Ste and I take it in turns to brush his teeth. The subsequent sobbing that results breaks my heart and I’ve had to turn away on more than one occasion to stop him from seeing the tears in my own eyes.
We’ve tried everything. Letting him take control by allowing him to brush his own teeth, showing him how we brush ours, brushing ours whilst simultaneously cleaning his, letting him scrub ours and so on and so on.
We’ve played games, sung songs (all of the teeth variety of course), distracted him with bath toys, tickled and danced. All to no avail. I’ve even wrapped him a towel to contain flailing limbs whilst trying to clean them but this was so traumatic that I couldn’t repeat it.
But this can’t continue. During the last two weeks I’ve noticed some discolouration on his front teeth that tells me that our existing brushing efforts aren’t good enough but most of all I want him to stop associating brushing his teeth with being such a horrendous experience. Granted it’s not the most thrilling activity but it’s got to be done so why make such a big deal about it. I’m aware that as I write this that such reasoning makes no sense to a 16 month old toddler however.
Some have suggested that using a muslin cloth to rub over the teeth is the way forward but essentially this is more or less the same application as the Brush Baby wipes that we’ve tried to move on from. I’ve even considered an electric toothbrush such as this one since he loves ours so much but it seems a tad well…excessive.
So I open it up to you…have you got any tips and tricks to share that might make the whole process that little bit more bearable? Are you struggling yourselves? I’d love to hear all about it…
Hi Lolly, I feel your pain. Everly also hates teeth brushing and I have to admit that some nights after a long day at work I’ve given up more easily than I should have. The thing that seems to have worked a bit for us, at least to stop some of the tears is to pretend to spit toothpaste into the sink in front of her. She finds this hilarious stops crying, pretends to spit herself and this gives me long enough to shove the toothbrush in !
Becky I’ve definitely given in on some occasions when I’ve been feeling ill or Ste isn’t around to help me battle. I think clearly I need to be more creative when it comes to encouraging Hector to brush his teeth. Perhaps I should try the spitting thing…
Another perfectly timed post and just what I need right now! Noah is 19 months and HATES brushing his teeth too. The whole experience takes ages and it’s so frustrating. He used to enjoy chewing on the toothbrush but now he flatly refuses to have it anywhere near his mouth. I have to line his bath frogs up on the side of the bath and pretend to brush their teeth and then he opens his mouth for like a mili second and I have to pounce with the toothbrush and clean what I can before he closes his mouth again. I’ve tried songs, dancing, everything. The last couple of nights I have resorted to lying him down and restraining him a bit whilst brushing them as he must do it but it’s horrible for him (and me!) We have our first dentist trip in a couple of weeks – good luck to the dentist as he won’t let them anywhere near his teeth i’m sure…. Can’t wait to hear some tips from people today! Katie x
Oh Katie we’ve done the lying down, restraining thing as well and it was horrible. I couldn’t bear to do it again. Let us know what the dentist says!
Not sure I have any tips as such, our 2 year old hates tooth-brushing too! Having cut her first tooth at 4 months we have had nearly 2 years of trying to get it right….
At first when she was really little it wasn’t a problem at all, then she started to resist around a year old. We ended up going down the route of holding her down but it was so terrible and just made her hate it even more, so to get over that trauma we let her brush her own for a while. It’s now about 50% her, 50% us doing it. My partner is better at it than me, he has all kinds of tricks! One that worked this morning was him counting to 10 whilst brushing (“it’ll be so quick! Count with me!”) but that didn’t work last night so it’s hardly tried & tested! We also use singing, brushing in the bath, letting her watch the iPad whilst brushing (which usually results in a mammoth session of her chewing the brush absentmindedly whilst being transfixed by Mr Tumble!!).
Just keep at it and the one thing I would say is try not to force it, we found it was much worse when we were holding her down to do it (sounds awful but that’s how desperate we were) as they come to associate it with something horrible. It only took us a little while to get out of that stage & we accepted that her teeth would just not be very clean for a couple of weeks but after that it got a bit easier!
Would love to hear if anyone else has won this battle…..
Sophie I definitely agree with you on the forcing thing; we’ve always found the experience much more traumatic for both him and for us when there’s been an element of restraint involves. I think you’re right I’ve got to accept that there will be an adjustment period where he has slightly grubbier teeth before accepting the toothbrush more readily.
I’m afraid I can’t help at all here as we have the complete opposite problem, my 18 month old LOVES brushing his teeth and toothbrushes in general. Our tears and tantrums come when it comes to taking back the toothbrush or if we try to brush our teeth in front of him and he doesn’t also have a toothbrush to chew on! At bath time he will give us a big cheesey grin, point to his mouth and say teeeeeeeeeeeth!
Martha I’m suffering a serious case of the green eyed monster over here. Perhaps your 18 month old can come over and teach Hector a lesson!
My little girl got her first tooth at 3 months, so we started this battle early too. Now at 2.5 I wouldn’t say we are winning it, but we’re definitely having more success than we used to. One of the big things that helps with getting E to have her teeth brushed is letting her take control of it herself. We let her get her toothbrush down, put the toothpaste on and then run it under the tap… yes, it’s pretty messy and we get through a lot of toothpaste, but she’s so proud to do it herself that she forgets any tantrums. Then we let her do it herself for a minute or so before asking if we can take over to get the “hard ones”.
We have this book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Maisy-Charley-Wobbly-Tooth-Cousins/dp/1406305324, which we read all the time and she loves, so we talk about how Charley brushes his teeth.. up and down, front and back…and she’s so excited to be like Charley it proves a distraction. I think story books that you can refer back to are a great reinforcement; we had issues with biting when she was younger and the only thing that helped that was a story book where the moral is not to bite your friends!
I’m buying that book right now Sara! Thanks so much for the recommendation!
I agree with you on letting them take control, we get through a LOT of toothpaste but at least some gets on her teeth x
I tried all sorts I think it’s just something they eventually get over when they realise it’s going to happen no matter how much they protest. Its a control thing. My son is 3 now and doesn’t always brush for as long as I’d like but we’ve really improved since the pinning him down to do it stage! I’d rather pin him down to brush than hold his hand while he gets a tooth extracted.
I sing silly songs while we brush (old mcdonald had a poo!!!), he uses Peppa pig toothpaste and a spiderman Toothbrush, I get him to breathe on me before and after and compliment his fresh breath! I also showed him photos of rotten teeth so he would understand the need to brush.
A dentist friend explained to him about sugar bugs doing wees and poos in your mouth and brushing chases them away. It all helped.
Sugar bugs sound funny! I wonder if I’ll be able to get though to Hector when he’s a bit older about the importance of brushing his teeth. Perhaps he’s just a bit too young now to really ‘get it’.
I’ve had this issue with both of mine. Eve was quite happy to have her own toothbrush while I cleaned, then she would try and have a go herself. Caleb was completely different, the own toothbrush worked for a while then came the tantrums. What seemed to work was cleaning them in the kitchen for a while and then slowly introduced cleaning them back in the bathroom. Also try changing tactics I think they catch on quick with distraction techniques, changing them may keep them interested. Hope this helps.
Hi Cassia thanks for the tips! Your ideas about changing the location for teeth brushing is a good one. I’m wondering if I could catch him whilst he’s watching Bing or something on the tele so that he’s distracted…
Ahhh I feel your pain too, my little girl (19 months) has recently got better at having her teeth brushed so it may just improve on its own with time, sorry I know that’s not much help but we went through the same thing until fairly recently. We always do it when she’s in the bath, and just try to really praise her if she lets us do it. I still don’t think they get a good enough brush though, I’d say they only get up to 1 minute max then she pushes the brush away and refuses. It’s really tricky! Have you seen the chewable toothbrush you can get from boots? My daughter used to really enjoy chewing it although she’s lost interest lately. Good luck hope it improves soon! X
There’s a chewable toothbrush?? I’ll definitely try this. Thanks so much for the recommendation Sarah xx
My son is about older (2.5 years) but I’ve brushed his teeth since his first tooth came through. It’s not always as long as it should be and there have been occasions I’ve let it go (only a few – I’m 34 weeks pregnant with my second and some days have no fight!). My son doesn’t hate it, more doesn’t want distracting from other things but a few things I found have helped is:
New toothbrushes – novelty is key!
Letting him use daddy’s toothbrush as a secret – he thinks this is hilarious
Letting him see his back teeth in a mirror so he can see any stuck food
The Aquafresh brush time app
Letting him spit in the sink
Doing the night time brush in the bath while I’m washing his hair/face – it’s just routine now
None of these work every time but I think it’s one of those things where you just do your best. Some days if I get toothpaste in his mouth it’s an achievement. He is definitely getting better as he gets older though. 🙂
*A bit older!
Oh yes and I forgot to say that NHS recommendations say that children under 3 need to use fluoride toothpaste with no less that 1000ppm. (It’s in small print on the packet). I only knew this as I was lucky enough to be at a baby group when a dental nurse visited and she told me. Google NHS page and it has the correct info on. 🙂
Lolly fluoride free toothpaste is doing absolutely nothing to strengthen Hectors teeth and the discolouration you describe may be the first signs of tooth decay. I would recommend you see a dentist as soon as possible and switch to a fluoride toothpaste.
Hi Em we’re lucky enough to live in an area where fluoride is added to the water already and there’s been quite a bit of research recently about the increase in the risk of cancer in little boys due to too much fluoride. My mum was also a dental nurse back in the day and has assured me that the discolouration is not tooth decay (something I was really concerned about!) but thanks for the heads up xx
We do teeth brushing in the bath, it’s the lay thing we do and we try and give them a little brush and then give him the brush to gnaw on, which we feel gets them clean. We let him keep the brush whilst we get him out of the bath and dressed, which doesn’t always work but has cut down his crying at having to get out of the bath. Our issue now is morning brushing, but he seems ok if you brush at the same time and he is just getting some molars through, but at 1 year old it’s difficult to explain he needs to do the back!
I would also check with your health visitor/dentist about the toothpaste – we have to use normal standard toothpaste for Patrick as our water contains no fluoride, might be worth checking out.
Hi Claire we do teeth brushing in the bath too and whilst he’s more than happy to hold the toothbrush, once it approaches his mouth he starts to kick off! We don’t have any molars yet so I’m dreading the extra drama when we have more teeth to clean.
Luckily (as I mentioned to Em above) our water definitely has fluoride in so we’re ok on that front xx
Hi Lolly,
Sorry to hear your having such trouble brushing Hector’s teeth. Occasionally we have the same struggles although I think Freya has now accepted tooth brushing as part of her routine. However, we face similar horrifying struggles at the moment with things like nappy changing and it’s almost like an association thing now. Freya has somehow started to have negative association with getting her nappy changed and it is literally the most difficult and emotionally draining experience. I don’t know what to do – she’s not ready for potty training yet so I’m probably going to have to continue to forcefully hold her down to get it done. Similar to some of out teeth brushing episodes. Hopefully it is just a phase like everything else and he will get better. Don’t give up though – it sounds like your doing all the right things and Hector will just one day accept that this is a daily routine. Good Luck!
We had a huge struggle with nappy changes about four months back where every change resembled a full scale wrestling match. I’m pleased to say that he’s much calmer about anything on the nappy front now and will happily just lie there so I think it’s just a phase – keep persevering and hopefully Freya will grow out of it too. (Love the name by the way – it was on our list for girls) xx
Oh good – it’s nice to hear a success story! Funny how they all have their own individual quirks! Makes them who they are! (as annoying as it can be) Oh thank you! I love the name Hector too! 🙂
My little boy, 21 months, loves to suck the toothpaste off, is less enthused by actual brushing…Some nights he’ll actually hide the toothbrush or just throw a wobbler. Recent improvement seems to have actually been triggered by a visit to the dentist, we really hyped it up and explained how he’d need to show the dentist all his teeth and they must be very clean and he must say a big ‘AHHH’. I think making a bit of a (fun) drama out of it, and bringing in the Very Important Dentist helped! I’ve also roped my mum in on the act – she looks after him three days a week – and they do a post-breakfast brush. He’s far more amenable with Grandma than Mama and Dada, so at least I know they’ve had one good brush a day if we’re not doing too well. Can you ask family/childcarers to help? Good luck! x
I have let my 2 year old do his own, or it won’t happen. I’m not convinced how well he does them; and he def doesn’t do them for long enough but he seems to like to do it (he hates it if I do it for him, although I do occasionally so I can feel like he has got them clean!), he likes to be able to stand on the step and copy us (spitting in the sink, rinsing the brush). Making a big deal, with lots of praise and saying how clever he is worked when he went through a reluctant phase when he was smaller, as did singing songs and pulling faces and saying AHH! really loudly. Brushing our own teeth at the same time helps too.
I need to take him to the dentist for the first time actually – another thing to add to the to do list!
My dentist recommended this: http://www.bugbrush.co.uk xx
Hi, firstly I just want to say I have only recently ventured into motherhood, my little Finley is only 4 weeks old, so I haven’t exactly reached the toothbrushing phase yet! BUT I just wanted to give a little bit of my pearly wisdom advice! I’m a dental therapist/hygienist, the therapist side I primarily deal with children’s teeth and it really saddens me that some children have a lot of dental issues. I often have mothers really struggling to clean their little ones teeth effectively or gain any co-operation and usually this ends up in a fight between them and tears. Which I can understand can be pretty traumatic! my hormones still raging at this point!
Anyway my professional advice to parents is try and persevere with a nice baby tooth brush and most importantly a fluoride tooth paste. I know its all personal choice but it really does make a difference to tooth decay rates. Fluoride is safe within recommended use doses for all children and the goverenment guidelines state that children under 3 should be using a smear of toothpaste with 1000ppm fluoride content. once they reach 3-6 years this can be increased to a peasized amount and should be 1350-1500ppm. this info can be seen on the back of the tube usually called sodium fluoride. I’ve seen first hand the effect of sugars hidden and natural on kids teeth and the pain and misery it can cause having to have fillings and teeth extracted often with a general aneasthetic which all can be prevented with good diet and effective brushing. Sorry if this sounds very preachy but I feel its an important subject to cover as many parents will comment to me that if they had been aware of the effects they may have changed diet and tooth paste/brushing before the damage is done.
if fluoride is simply not an option then diet and frequency of sugars should be very closely looked at and kept to a bare minimum!
Another tip I often say is sit the child on your knee facing away from you , gently one hand on their forehead to tip head slightly back and brush this way, it can help! character tooth brushes and timers etc making toothbrushing as fun as possible can really help. No doubt I will come across the hurdles many face at toothbrushing time when my little boys gets his teeth! sorry for the long post! and hopefully this advice will help.
Oh my, I feel your frustration! My little boy is nearly two and a half and we’ve had an on off relationship with teeth brushing. One thing he likes is running the tooth brush under a running tap and then brushing. He does let me use my electric toothbrush on his teeth but I worry about damaging his.is gums? Aside from that the most successful brushing sessions we have are when he’s crying at which point I can get to the back teeth as his mouth is open wide enough! ?
This is a timely post! I’ve just started brushing my baby’s teeth yesterday. He is four months old and more than happy to have the brush in his mouth (think it relieves teething pain?!) there are two things though causing me a little worry. Firstly, how to get him to not swallow the toothpaste? He has a baby toothbrush and 0-2 1000 fluoride toothpaste and I just put a smear on the brush, how do you get them to spit it out though, he thinks it’s delicious! Secondly, I feel I should brush his teeth right before bed, he has his final bottle of milk then though which normally sends him off to the land of nod. I don’t really want to wake him up so I’ve been brushing his teeth in the morning, should I be doing it twice a day? When he has milk every four hours does it really matter when I brush them? Cheers!
I wouldn’t worry about swallowing the toothpaste as only using a smear and you are using the correct amount of fluoride, it wont effect your little one. the brushing before bed debate…. again you are doing everything right , the risk of tooth decay is when children go to bed with a bottle they can sip throughout the night rather than getting in a regular feed. Yes milk contains sugars but when given as a feed and not an all night comforter it is highly unlikely to damage the teeth. As a dental professional we advise twice a day brushing for all ages usually not directly after eating/drinking .Hope this helps x
We had no end of trouble until we got a sonic-baby electric toothbrush, which we use with Jack & Jill banana toothpaste. We still get tears and point blank refusals some nights, but they’re far fewer now fortunately. I think there’s a danger of forming bad associations with toothbrushing if it’s traumatic every night, so we’re fairly relaxed about it as long as some brushing happens amd only take a hard line once a week or so! Good luck!
Matilda loves to eat the toothpaste rather than brushing. We, like you had been letting her do it herself but we’ve ended up with chewed toothbrushes and no brushing! Our latest tack is for her to sit on our lap edge of the sink brushing. She like to play with the water and inbetween constantly putting the toothbrush under the tap she has started to let us brush a bit. We out huge bit of toothpaste on the brush at first knowing the first bit goes into the mouth before the back and forth two playing commences but it’s meant some brushing happens so feeling a bit better about it now. Any tips for getting them to keep their tongue out the way when doing the bottom teeth would be appreciated still feel they aren’t getting cleaned properly!! Good luck.