Over the last year we have been honoured to share the personal stories of many of our readers. Some are happy, joyful ones and others are heartbreakingly sad. Today one of our readers, Lucy, is sharing her experience of Ectopic pregnancy with you and how the pregnancy she had hoped for wasn’t to be.

Two little lines on two little tests- I leapt out of the bathroom and woke up my husband- “we’re having another one!” How would we cope with 2 under 2? We were both thrilled, and spent the next couple of days thinking about names, and the journey we were just beginning. We had no idea the journey would be over in a matter of weeks.

The first sign something was wrong came, typically, on an otherwise perfect day only a short time later. We were in the west of Ireland where I had a short work placement, so we spent a Saturday trekking out to the Father Ted House with a trip to a play farm for our toddler. Then I noticed blood when I went to the toilet. I read the entire internet literature on how bleeding is normal for some women in early pregnancy. I hadn’t had it in my first pregnancy, but surely everything would be ok?

The bleeding got heavier, then lighter, then stopped. I took another test- it was still positive. So, when the bleeding started again, I thought this must be the new normal. This time it was accompanied by cramps. I struggled through the last week of the work placement – there were only a couple of days to go and I’d see my own GP. The bleeding stopped the day we flew, then started once again a day later- so heavy I felt there was no hope. It was accompanied by a nasty ache on one side of my tummy, which made my GP prick up his ears. He dispatched me to Emergency Gynaecology. The words “ectopic pregnancy” were mentioned, but I didn’t have the symptoms google told me about- certainly no shoulder pain, and the cramps weren’t that bad?

Emergency Gynaecology is not a happy place. As my toddler played with the toy box I could see other women watching her with pain in their eyes. I felt terrible, and greedy, for wanting another child when others were desperate to have just one. Having blood tests was a relief, even with a squirming little one on my lap. Then came the scan- any vaginal ultrasound is not fun, but it’s even less fun when they can’t find anything. My womb was empty. Completely. I felt stupid, and gutted. Then came the words “we can’t see your left ovary and tube, they are surrounded by blood. Is that side where the pain is?” Yes, it was that side. An ectopic was confirmed. The little fertilised egg had decided to try and develop in my fallopian tube, instead of my womb, causing bleeding inside me. At this point things started to happen very quickly: we were whisked to a private room, and a doctor came, poked my stomach painfully and briskly told me to “sort out some childcare, fast.” She was pushing for me to be admitted, and have an operation to have the tube removed- if it ruptured, I was in serious trouble. All I could think of was that I had lost the baby I hoped for, and now they wanted to take my still breastfeeding-to-sleep 13 month old away. My husband arrived, and my composure broke. In between the floods of tears, my daughter took her first steps. Impeccable timing.

A senior consultant arrived, bringing my blood test results. My levels of pregnancy hormone were low, he said. It seemed as though my body had recognised what had happened and already miscarried. If I wanted, I could go home instead of having the op as in his opinion the crisis was over. I could have kissed him. My mum arrived that evening to help out, as the bleeding intensified, and so did the pain. I considered going back to the hospital, but when I called they reminded me to take both paracetamol and ibuprofen, not just one. This had the desired effect, and I was able to cry myself to sleep. The bleeding took about another 10 days to stop, and the pain went after about a week. It took another three for my hormone levels to go back to non-pregnant “normal.” Both my husband and I were deeply disappointed and saddened, but I felt fortunate in some ways- to have escaped the operation, to have “got away with it.” I threw myself into exercise, and having fun with my daughter. It wasn’t until I fell pregnant again that I realised the full toll of the experience- every time I wipe I expect to see blood, every scan we have I expect them to find nothing there, or a serious problem. I don’t think I will ever be so blithely optimistic in pregnancy ever again. That week of positive tests and Father Ted jokes seems like it happened to another person.

If you are having bleeding and pain but still have a positive pregnancy test, please see your GP and ask for a referral- I was one of the “lucky” ones, but ectopic pregnancy is dangerous, and serious. Don’t discount your symptoms as nothing.