A few weeks ago our lovely reader Kate shared her experiences of trying for a baby and the difficulties they faced with conception. Today Kate is talking all about the First Trimester of her pregnancy so I’ll hand over to her to tell you more.
First of all I just wanted to thank everyone for all of your lovely comments on my first post! Now that I’m safely into the second trimester, I’m back today sharing my experience of the first 12 weeks – so here goes.
I think most people will agree that the first trimester is their least favourite. For me it wasn’t the sickness or the tiredness but rather anxiety that I struggled with the most. I don’t know if it’s because it took us a little while to fall pregnant, or just because of the type of person that I am but from the moment that little blue cross appeared it took all of about 2 days for me to go from being absolutely ecstatic to suddenly feeling full of worry that something would go wrong (quite different from me saying I would be grateful and enjoy every minute I know).
I spent the first few days on forums (again!) reading the brave but heart-breaking stories that people had shared and worked myself up into a mess. I absolutely hated that I felt like this and knew something had to change. I was going to become a mum in just 8 short months and was adamant that I could not spend the rest of my life worrying about things that hadn’t, and would most likely not, happen.
I made a real effort over the next few weeks to be more positive and banned myself from Google searches and my beloved forums. I had a couple of early scans after experiencing some light bleeding early on. Because of my long cycles there was some confusion over how far into my pregnancy I was. My doctor put me at 7 weeks based on the date of my last period but in my mind I knew I was more like 4 or 5. I was booked in for an early scan and what they thought was 7 weeks but turned out to be just 5. It was scary to be told that they couldn’t see what they would expect to but we went back 2 weeks later to be reassured that everything looked normal and as I expected, I was just a little further behind. I felt so relieved and although still desperate to get to the 12 week mark, finally felt like I could begin to relax and enjoy my pregnancy a little more.
I can honestly say I do not know how people keep the news to themselves. There was no way I was keeping it a secret. I text my best friend about an hour after doing the test, and we went to tell my parents that evening. By about 8 weeks we had told all our friends and family and I even told my boss at around 10 weeks. There were moments when I felt anxious about the fact that we had told everyone so early, but personally I found it helped me to talk through my worries, and excitement of course, with everyone – plus it meant I got a little more sympathy if I was having a rough day or if I said I wasn’t up for certain events and nights out.
As I said, I was very lucky with the sickness. I was only physically sick a handful of times although I did experience constant nausea for a good few weeks. I had every intention of being super healthy while I was pregnant but in the end spent pretty much the whole time eating carbs. Cheesy mash and chips became my staple diet – probably not what the midwives recommend! But I truly believe you have to eat what you fancy during this time – that was my excuse anyway ☺ Several people admitted once I had told them the news that they had noticed the change in my eating habits and as a result had guessed – my chip eating gave me away!
By around week 10 the nausea had started to subside a little. I did begin to feel a little nervous as the scan date approached but once again we were told all looked great. The first scan is such an amazing experience. I had no idea you would be able to see so much detail and I found it incredibly reassuring how thorough they were, checking everything over. As amazing as it was, I did find it a little uncomfortable – they press down pretty hard on your stomach and bladder – which they recommend is full! For the first 10 minutes all I could focus on was trying not to pee, I’m not sure I was even looking at my baby. Once they let me empty my bladder and I could relax, of course I absolutely loved seeing our little baby wriggle around on the screen. Our hospital don’t print photos anymore because of cost cutting (I couldn’t even buy them) so we were a bit disappointed to leave with just a couple of phone pictures taken of the screen, but they will have to do.
Now of course the countdown to the 20 week scan (or 22 two weeks in my case) begins. We have decided that we are going to find out the sex and I am really desperate to know now – even if just to stop people assessing my bump and trying to guess! I feel like it will feel a whole lot more real once we know what we are having, don’t ask me why – surely my ever expanding waistline should make it feel real enough, but for some reason I feel like once we know what we’re having and can start thinking of the baby as ‘him’ or ‘her’ I will finally begin to accept that this is actually happening, and of course that means I can start planning the nursery 🙂
Hi Kate,
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I found out that my husband and I are pregnant two days ago after 12/13 months of trying. We have a similar story, I had irregular cycles (and low progesterone) too.
Like you I am absolutely extactic but SO anxious. I think it’s probably because it feels like it has taken so long to get here. I’ve gone from being anxious it won’t happen to anxious I won’t stay pregnant! I don’t think it’s helping matters that I’m a natural worrier.
I should take your advice and stop the googling and delete my fertility tracking app which has a lot of ladies who have some scary stories! Any other tips on how to be more positive would be much appreciated!
I’m looking forward to reading your next update – congratulations!
Els x
Hi Els, Congratulations first of all! I know exactly how you feel, I promise you will start to worry less as time goes on – I know I definitely have. I really found that staying away from forums and google made a huge difference, so give that a go.
Really hope you start to feel less anxious soon and wishing you all the best with your pregnancy! xx
Hi Kate, congratulations! I found out last week that I was pregnant for the second time. I’m totally wth you on telling people- we’ve already told parents and last time we’d told our closest friends by 8 weeks. This time I’m feeling incredibly anxious despite a healthy pregnancy and baby last time. I just can’t get my head around the fact I’m pregnant for some reason. My best friend recently miscarried after a healthy first pregnancy and i think that’s probably added to the usual anxieties. I’ve decided I need to go for an early (private) scan this time to convince myself I’m actually pregnant!
Hi Anna, Congratulations to you too! Glad to hear I wasn’t the only one that couldn’t resist telling people – it’s such a difficult secret to keep isn’t it!
Sorry to hear that you’re feeling anxious this time. I’m sure an early scan will help put your mind at ease! Good luck with everything xx
I can definitely relate to the worrying. I am 11 weeks pregnant and am still feeling quite detached from it – really looking forward to my scan next week to make it seem more real! Unlike you, we’ve not told anyone yet, but that’s mostly because I inherited a blood condition from my dad which means that I could be more predisposed to miscarriages. My dad is already so gutted that he passed this on that we thought that it would stop him worrying if we waited til after our 12 week scan to tell him. I am so looking forward to telling people though, although work not so much!
I have also had the constant nausea since about 5 weeks. Not been physically sick but just feel horrible all the time! I have also had to live on carbs and cheese… last night my tea was four potato waffles. I just don’t have the energy to cook or the inclination to eat anything else!!
Looking forward to following your pregnancy! xx
Congratulations Katie – almost at the 12 week mark, I bet you are counting down the days!! I completely understand your reasons for waiting before telling people, I bet your Dad (and everyone else too) will be over the moon for you. Work may even surprise you, you never know!
The nausea is horrible isn’t it. I hope it gets easier for you over the next few weeks. I don’t think we need to feel guilty about eating whatever we want at this time! Good luck with your scan next week and telling all your friends and family 🙂 xx
Congratulations Kate, I’m so pleased that everything is going well for you! I follow you on Instagram too so I’ve been reading all your latest updates!
Reading about your first 12 weeks have really made me chuckle, I feel like I could’ve written it myself! I’m almost 14 weeks pregnant now and everything you’ve said has been almost identical to me, from the anxiety, the lack of actual sickness but CONSTANT nausea (I wondered sometimes whether that was worse than actual sickness!) down to being quite shocked at how hard they press on your belly during the scan haha! I ended up with a little bruise on my belly afterwards!! ?
I’m currently debating whether to find out the gender of our little one at the 20 week scan. All along I’ve said that I didn’t want to know, and that surely it would be a bit like opening your Christmas presents early haha, but as the weeks have gone on I just feel such an urge to find out as much as I can about this tiny little baby growing inside of me, and I wonder if it would help it feel more ‘real’ like you mentioned. Did you feel glad that you’d found out the gender? Xx
Ah thank you lovely! I too wondered whether constant nausea might even be worse. At times I wish I could actually just be sick!
Oh we were so happy we found out! I really feel that it’s made a difference to how real it feels. Now I know it’s a little boy I can really start to imagine myself with him, and not to mention it’s made it easier planning the nursery and buying clothes etc. You’ll have to let me know what you decide to do! xx
Congratulations Kate. Its really reassuring to read other peoples experiences. I am now 7 weeks and feeling the same as you describe. Feel sick pretty much all day but if I wake up and don’t feel sick or go an hour feeling fine, it makes me worried. Ridiculous really!
Thank you Laura – congratulations to you too! Oh I know, the first few weeks are hard. It’s horrible feeling ill but then you worry when you don’t – I was exactly the same. You don’t have long to go now until you’re at 12 weeks, hopefully you will lots better (both sickness and worry-wise!) after then xx
Hello, I’m 16 weeks pregnant and enjoying reading your updates. That first trimester is so scary! Even though I had a scan at 8 week and knew that the chances of anything going wrong were low, I will still nervous. Now just waiting for the 20 week scan – even now telling people makes me nervous. And definitely with you on the carb front. Mashed potato and toast (not together) got me through the nausea!
Thank you Jools – congratulations on your pregnancy! It sure is nice to be past the 12 week mark isn’t it. Not long until your 20 week scan now, I enjoyed that one so much! You can really notice a difference from 12 weeks. Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy – you enjoy those carbs!! x
So good to hear all is going so well and have more juicy details than IG provides!
I feel very strongly that telling people early is important to lifting the silence about pregnancy loss- when else in life do you need support but are supposed to keep quiet!
Hope the second trimester is treating you well- have you had all the fun of flu jabs yet? Had mine yesterday and my arms are not happy… although obviously very pleased to have opportunity to get them!
Thank you so much Lucy. I completely agree with you about breaking the silence on pregnancy loss. Personally, I feel as though I would rather my friends and family were aware of what I was going through if anything had happened but I appreciate everyone may feel differently on this.
I do think however that there is pressure to keep your pregnancy quiet for the first 12 weeks when it should be down to the couple and how they feel. Quite often when we told people before the 12 week mark we were met with ooh you shouldn’t really be saying anything yet, which I didn’t understand. We had made the decision to share the news and didn’t see anything wrong with it. Anyway, that’s perhaps a whole other subject in itself!
I am really enjoying the second trimester thank you. Had the flu jab and whooping cough a few weeks ago! It is great that they offer them isnt it! Hope you are well 🙂 xx
Hi Kate – congratulations! It is so nice to read your story – I am 15 weeks pregnant so I have just finished the awful first trimester too, and like some readers above I can relate to EVERYTHING you’ve written!
The nausea is awful, and I agree – I found it was actually better the few times I could actually be sick. It’s got a LOT better since week 12 although it does linger and I find it’s a lot worse if I don’t get a proper sleep.
The main reason I am commenting, though, is to thank you for dealing with your early bleeding/spotting so openly yet calmly in this blog post. I have had the same on 3 occasions now, and it is absolutely terrifying (this is my first pregnancy, no previous miscarriages, but I am living in terror of something happening because it feels too good to be true).
To others who experience spotting, please try not to only focus on the negative reports google. I actually found quite a lot of reassuring stories when I googled it, but my brain it seems would only focus on the negative stories.
Some spotting is very common. I had an early private scan after the first time (at 8 weeks) and the baby’s heart was beating away nice and strong. The second time (10 weeks) I stayed calm and didn’t rush to the doctor, but was super relieved to get to my 12 week scan and be reassured everything was ok. Then last week (13 weeks) I had more bleeding – this time it was heavier than just a ‘spot’ (although all of these terms are relative so it’s very difficult to know, isn’t it?). I called the 24h helpline and was told to go to A&E where I had an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat again, thank goodness. The doctors can’t give me any reason for the bleeding so I just have to try not to panic if/when it happens again.
I hope this helps others who experience the same.
Hi Stacey, thank you so much for your comment. And congratulations to you!
You’re right, early spotting/bleedying is definitely something that should be talked about. I found it absolutely terrifying when it happened, and googling it only made it worse! Although perhaps you’re right and I only focused on the negative rather than positive outcome stories. I was actually really impressed with the way my doctor handled it. She was very reassuring but agreed me to send me for a scan anyway which really put my mind at ease.
I’m so glad to hear that everything is going well with your pregnancy and that your baby is healthy. It seems light bleeding is very common and it’s good for women to know that it doesn’t always need to be scary, but is always worth getting checked out! x
Hi Kate
Really enjoyed reading this entry. I am approx 7 weeks and can totally relate to this. The worry is intense, and reading the stories on my app does not help, so I am going to stop.
I was the same, we have told our parents and close friends. It is so difficult with it been Christmas and all the parties arranged where I am now driving because I am ‘on antibiotics’!
I look forward to reading some more of the blog
X
Thank you so much Katie – the first few weeks can feel scary but before you know it you will be at that scan and I’m sure you will start to relax after that! Oh yes it’s the most difficult time of year to make excuses for not drinking! Antibiotics has to be the best excuse! Wishing you lots of luck with your pregnancy xx