I wasn’t ever exactly a trend setter nor what I would call super dooper stylish but that little ounce I did have seems to have well and truly disappeared since having the girls. In short, I’m in something of a style rut.
In my old job in a busy creative advertising agency I always made an effort. We weren’t suited and booted but that didn’t mean jeans and trainers were the order of the day. Think pretty tops and blazers or cute little dresses. Now I predominantly work from home which doesn’t mean I sit in pjs but does mean jeans and my trusty Joules hoody are acceptable.
For the last five years I either seem to have been in maternity clothes, desperately trying to fit in to my old clothes or living in jeans and a sweatshirt. I also have neither the time nor inclination to do my makeup most days and normally have my hair scraped back in a messy top knot. Not really rocking the best look around then. Especially as I work with an extremely stylish bunch of people here at RMLtd.
To make matters worse when I turned up to drop Molly at school the other day I was actually wearing makeup, had managed to brush my hair and was wearing a slightly more exciting (ie. not breakfast smeared) top and had numerous people comment how nice I looked and was I going somewhere special? Oh the shame.
I dislike almost everything I own, which is stupid really as I have some nice things, but every day I just can’t seem to decide what to wear and whatever I do choose always leaves me feeling that little bit flat to be honest. I have to try a million outfits when I have meetings and normally end up back in my jeans.
The fact is most days I am chasing around after the girls and doing 101 things all at once so I need comfort and easy to throw on clothes and my washing machine doesn’t really care if I have my favourite lipstick on or not.
But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try, surely?
This isn’t a post about my post pregnancy figure but I have never liked my figure full stop, even before the girls. Just some long standing fight I have with myself about weight and the effect of two kids really hasn’t helped. The last five years seem to have been a constant struggle between not liking my pregnancy body and trying to get back to what I feel is an acceptable weight only to find out I was pregnant again and starting the whole cycle all over. I’m finally starting to feel a bit happier but still have a way to go. Instead I am focussing on toning up and upping my exercise regime and am starting to feel more me.
Pre kids I had found a style that suited me. More fitted and classic cuts seemed to work well but now I feel self conscious when things are too fitted on my tummy. This means I’ve ended up in looser clothing which really does nothing for my figure. I am also rather tall with a ridiculously long body. This means all those lovely dresses out there just about cover my bum and I know I don’t need to dress mumsy but crop tops aren’t really going to do much for me are they? Breton stripes and skinny jeans seem to be the order of the day. I have recently invested in a nice pinafore dress and slouchy denim shirt dress. Both of which are actually rather comfy.
I think I need to take a leaf out of the Rock My Style team’s book and Marie Kondo my wardrobe.
So over the next few months I’m going to pull my socks up and attempt to sort my style out. I’ll be sharing all my lovely finds and purchases for mum, and purse, friendly outfits and accessories with you all. Who’s joining me on my style mission and any suggestions on where to start?
Image by Anna Clarke Photography
Oh Lottie, totally resonate with you here! And am secretly jealous that I *can’t* leave the house without make up, because I just look, well, ill!! In my mind what I want to wear and how it looks on me are totally worlds apart!! Plus, I actually hate summer fashion! Particularly after having Edie the last thing I want to do is have any flesh on show!! So, I can’t offer any advice, but I’m really looking forward to seeing how you go!! If it’s any consolation I always think you look beaut in any pics I’ve seen!! Good Luck, I’ll be joining you for the ride… Xxx
Hooray for joining me and you are too kind! I’m pretty sure I also look rather rubbish without makeup but I’ve got so used to not wearing it that I often forget. I too am not a fan of summer any more. I used to be but now I just struggle to find anything I feel good in. Give me a big wooly jumper any day. Hopefully I can hunt us out some good clothing options… xxx
RMF, you’ve done it again…timed a post to coincide exactly with my life at the moment! Thank you, this is just what I needed and I look forward to seeing your lovely new purchases, Lottie.
It’s been so long since I spent any money on clothes, I don’t even know where to start looking. Since having my daughter, I buy most other things online, but I’ve never been one to do this with clothes as I much prefer to try them on first and negotiate sizes before buying. I’ve never been a huge make-up wearer either and as long as my skin looks good, I’ll often go without, but I’m finding this less forgiving as I get older (or more tired?!)
I recently ventured into M&S and got measured for a new bra. Even this small purchase has (quite literally!) perked me up so my only advice would be that if it seems like an overwhelming task, begin with something small to make you smile – new underwear is a great start! Happy shopping everyone xx
You can just call us mind readers Stephie!!
I’m exactly the same. I have bought clothes but they always seem to be on a bit of a whim and I never really like them that much. I too hate online shopping, I’ve never been able to do it as end up sending everything back or keep it because I can’t be bothered and then never wear it.
I definitely need to start with underwear. I’m ashamed to say I haven’t been measured since before I had the girls (terrible) so perhaps I ought to make this my first job. Something small to make you smile is the best advice ever.
xxx
Exactly this! I seem to live in any previous clothes that fit me and because I don’t feel confident about my body and certainly don’t have the disposable income I once had, haven’t the faintest where to start!
Also…when did the 80’s come back? Did I miss that?!
Um, I know. The trends make me feel very old at the moment! I’m exactly the same on the confidence and lack of funds. I just can’t bring myself to buy anything too expensive. Luckily I love a good bargain so hopefully I can come up with a few good options that won’t break the bank. I think I may actually enjoy this challenge! x
I’m sure you’ve heard this from the RMF girls but you do NOT need to hide away your figure, you’re gorgeous head to toe and inside too my dear.
As I’ve got older (38 and counting), I’ve changed how I shop and shifted gradually towards what suits me rather than what’s hanging off the rails in Topshop. I agree with Stephie in starting small, buy one thing that makes you feel fab and go from there.
Wherever I can, I avoid Internet shopping. I don’t have a standard figure either so that often means my online purchases look dreadful. I will say, M&S are nailing it at the moment so it’s worth finding a spare hour and have a wander round. The cut of their clothes is usually more forgiving and they often have clever little touches like ‘no gape’ blouse buttons.
I’ve also found that a skirt which nips high at the waist and then floats out over my tum are my friend. They don’t need to be super girly and sometimes means I can get away with a crop top too!
If M&S is good enough for Alexa it’s good enough for us! Xx
Oh Karen, you are a darling!
M&S is already my staple shop. I love it. Always have done and like you I know Topshop and the like just don’t work for me. The limited collection and Autograph ranges are my absolute faves. Like you I also know that I can order my size and that it will fit. Their skinny jeans are my favourite and this weekend I purchased a rather lovely Autograph water-colour shirt dress in the sale for less than £30. I said I love a bargain!
xxxx
This couldn’t be more appropriate, I know exactly how you feel! Isn’t it funny how self critical we are of ourselves! I had a dinner to go to with my husband and some friends on Saturday night which led to me spending 4 hours traipsing around the shopping centre trying to find something to wear, feeling like everything I tried on made me look horrendous. I’m rather embarrassed to admit that I came home and cried. In the end I wore an outfit that I considered to be the best of a bad bunch and everyone told me how lovely I looked all night, but I just couldn’t see it. I think as women we often see ourselves differently to how everyone else does. I’m with you on the Marie Condo approach though, I’m sick of opening my wardrobe and either seeing frumpy clothes that make me feel 10 years older than I am, or clothes I am kidding myself that I will one day fit into again. I feel a shopping trip coming on! Xx
You are completely right Kate. If everyone said you looked lovely I’m pretty sure you did. We will probably never feel happy with ourselves so perhaps this should have been more about finding some sort of inner confidence, something I’ve never had. I wish I did. My task today is actually to strip back the wardrobe again and see what I’m left with. I need to be ruthless. Then I can start the shopping xxx
Good luck! I think half the battle is knowing what looks good on you (hence the hours spent shopping that just end in tears!) I’m actually considering trying out one of those personal shoppers you can find in big department stores in the hope that they can help show me what looks best on my figure. Although I’d feel terribly extravagant. Maybe something to add to the birthday list! Xx
I say do it. I’ve thought the same as I seem to have no idea any more. That or I’ll try calling Gok!!! x
I am also feeling like this and am excited about seeing future fashion posts! Very self conscious about my post pregnancy body. Lost the baby weight but do have a tum that I never used to have. I am also rather scrawny so struggle to find clothes that fit that I like. Love M&S but their clothes are too big for me. Don’t hate me for saying that….Some people are unhappy about being a bit podgy I am unhappy about being scrawny. Would love someone to take me shopping and kit me out! Thanks for these fab posts xx
No hating at all here. Non of us are ever happy are we?! I think a big thing is finding a shop that suits you but I’m also going to be looking at styles and ideas that suit everyone so hopefully I can find something for you xx
I will watch this space thank you. Think you are right. To find a shop that fits and has a style you like. I love joules but can be expensive xx
I’m with you Lottie! My little boy is nearly 5 months and I recently put away the maternity clothes and have been feeling quite uninspired by my wardrobe. I’ve never been one for a capsule wardrobe approach but I’m coming round to the idea a bit since shopping time is so limited nowadays! I would love to Marie Kondo my wardrobe but I’m thinking I’ll wait until I’ve stopped breastfeeding before I do that in case I make any rash decisions. H&M is my go to place at the moment, they have lots of lovely stuff that is purse friendly. I think a nice accessory or two can really make a simple outfit special – I’m a big fan of a statement necklace with a t-shirt and jeans (when it’s not being grabbed by tiny hands…!) And of course with the UK weather a good jacket / coat makes all the difference when you’re spending lots of time out and about walking with a pushchair or at the park… I’m looking forward to seeing your finds on here! x
I have been known to make too many rash decisions so am slowly learning to just buy the pieces I like. I used to love a good necklace so not sure when that stopped as I now seem to have non. Must start some purchases again as agree they can really jazz up a t-shirt and jeans combo. Jackets were actually on my list for purchasing. Can’t decide between an investment leather one (probably for birthday and xmas later in the year) or a sort of mac to see me through summer. Decisions decisions…. x
I’m not so self conscious of my post baby body (though it’s far from perfect It’s doing its best) I’m more stuck in a post pregnancy style rutt. If I open my wardrobe and take a good look it’s full of jeans, denim shirts and stripes, stripes on tops stripes on dresses, blues stripes, orange stripes, grey stripes boring boring boring. I just don’t know what I want to wear (that will also fit my curvy, top heavy, size 14 5ft3″ frame, be practical for boob access and not make me look like a frump or mutton, I’m 41) I don’t have a massive budget to play around with but also don’t like buying cheap throw away clothes either. Aarghh.
This sounds exactly like my wardrobe Jo. Stripes, denim and shirts. All absolutely fine but I’m bored. I’m thinking of quite a few pieces that will work together so hopefully can find something that works for you. I’m the same in that I’ve done the cheap clothes thing and although they still make an appearance I think it’s good to have a couple of nicer things that you can mix in with them. That’s my challenge anyway!
I look forward to seeing what you come up with. I can’t afford to start from scratch (and don’t really want to) I do have some nice pieces I just need to reinvigorate my style.
I’m 8 months into my 12 months of maternity leave and still have some (read about 2 stone!) baby weight to lose before heading back to work. I was planning on a day trip to a large department store about a month before I go back to work, having a personal shopper and getting them to help me out. But now I might be able to keep an eye on what you get instead Lottie!
You’ll get there Hannah and if you don’t don’t worry too much. I’m still a good half a stone heavier than when I had Molly (5 years ago!!!) and probably at least a stone more than where I am comfortable. I fear it is a battle I may not win. I am so thinking that I need a personal shopper experience. Let us know if you do it xxx
Oh Lottie Loo, firstly you are one of THE most beautifulest ladies I have even had the privilege of knowing. You always, always look absolutely LUSH. I only wish I had half your courage, strength and glowing beauty. Plus after our last get-together I tried to replicate your entire outfit (not that if suited me mind, so sadly had to be returned) but if only you knew how utterly fabulous and inspiring you are xxx
Lornie you are too too lovely. Big hugs. That made me chuckle as I have no idea how I put outfits together any more!! Especially for our super stylish team get togethers. I have to plan for about a week!! xxx
Such a great post! I am an image consultant and the place I start with clients who come to see me when they are stuck in a ‘style rut’ is their personality. I get them to talk me through a typical week – what that looks like. We then discuss the area’s they want to address in the time frame we have together and then we create a mood board of images they love. I tell my clients not to overthink this bit. I ask that the images be mainly clothes, accessories, hair and make up based but I also ask them to include interior styling ideas that they love , as well as any holiday or life aspirational images that they find. This then helps us identify who they are now and gives us a strong insight into where they’d like to take their image. There’s more that goes into it of course but a mood board and a practical look at your week is a great starting point. I am really looking forward to your future posts.
Oh wow Lizzie, this is amazing. What a fantastic job and love all your tips. I definitely need to sit down and have a proper think about what I want rather than just buying random pieces all over the place. I now feel I shall need a mood board before my first fashion post! xx
I can’t wait for these fab fashion posts. My daughter is one now and my fave outfits revolve around skinny jeans (M&S! Love them! Stretchy, comfy and baby friendly) so I could really use some inspiration! My work wardrobe definitely needs an overhaul, I’m wearing the same clothes as pre baby and I just don’t like them anymore! x
P.s I just saw pictures of the Duchess of Cambridges vogue shoot; rocking a Breton stripe top. So that makes you tres chic 😉
M&S skinny jeans are the best. They are the only jeans I own. I am currently sat in my favourite grey pair. I too have lots of pre baby clothes and don’t know why I’m holding on to them when I don’t actually like them. Ha ha, obviously if it is good enough for the Duchess then it should be Breton all the way! x
I’m really looking forward to these posts Lottie! I’m completely at this stage with my wardrobe but was completely inspired by the Marie Kondo RMS posts and have really enjoyed axing my wardrobe and looking for new pieces to fill in the gaps. Sadly the posts have introduced me to Hush, I want everything! Good luck with your challenge although I’m sure you do always look lovely ☺️ I would say I have kept a few pre child garments though including a short black French connection dress I had when I was 18- even if you aren’t going to wear them again their are some items that are worth keepin just because they make you smile when you think of all the (mid)adventures you had wearing them! x
I’m sad I missed this yesterday! This is very much how I’ve felt of late- while the scales say the baby weight is gone my body is completely transformed and I have no idea what to shove it in! However, Lisa’s Pom Pom post over on RMS gave me the kick I needed to go and buy lots of bits for summer. One major change has been to embrace higher waisted jeans- no builders bum while chasing Madam around thank you very much!